Corrected - A Song

[Based on … well, ripped from “Connected” by the Stereo MC’s]

Bbbbbbbad dog!

[Arf arf ar-arf, Arf arf ar-arf ]
[Arf arf ar-arf, Arf arf ar-arf …]

Ow!
Now that ain’t right.
Gotta get my dog, gotta get my dog, gotta get my dog corrected.
I ain’t gonna be blind to behavior I’ve detected.

See her now, countersurf.
You see her there? Like it’s her turf.
Her pushy tricks, and stinky licks.
Her jumping up. Look here, pup.

Don’t you do it again,
I’ll put you in the pen.
[Arf!]
Now you’ve done it again.
I don’t take that from men!

Gonna teach you. (You won’t do it again.)
Give you a clue. (You won’t do it again.)
Here’s what I’ll do.
Come! Stay!

Gonna be trained and corrected;
You need to learn it well.
One more wrong detected,
All that, I will quell.
This is owner hell.

Just like Pavlov’s bell.

Ow!
I’ve had enough!

I’ll just google, let’s see here.
The training place, it is quite near.

“Gotta get my dog, gotta get my dog, gotta get my dog corrected.
Now I’ve heard you are good, you’re the place that I’ve selected.”

Let’s go out!
You want to go out? You want to go out?

[Awroo-oo-oo]

As we go in, did it again, now it’s a sin, here in this pen.
Wow!
She wouldn’t do it again, she wouldn’t do it again, she wouldn’t do it again.

She’s getting trained. (She wouldn’t do it again.)
How could I be blind, look what I just gained. (She didn’t do it again!)

Oh yeah!

Gonna get my dog corrected,
I was doing this and that,
But with new thoughts they selected,
She’s less of a brat,
It has left me flat.

I feel like a prat.

Yeah.
She’s doing fine, stays in her line. (Wow!)
Stays still and mum, ‘til I say “Come.” (Wow!)
I can’t believe, it’s so easy.
It takes some work, then gets breezy.

Huh.
Well she did it again. Now why’d she do it again?
Oh!
If she does it again, oh yeah! She won’t do it again.

Look at this!
I’m in charge!
This is bliss!
Living large …

I had to get myself corrected,
I thought I was so smart.
With treats that are confected,
I can use the art,
If I know my part.

Oh be still, my heart!

But now I’ve had my wits collected,
I’ve seen just what to do.
My duties were neglected,
I had to get a clue
And then see it through.

Well who ever knew?

Now my dog will be corrected,
Behaving oh so well.
My grins are resurrected.
Out of owner hell,
And I’m feeling swell.

Can you not tell?

If your dog needs corrected,
Get her into a school.
If training is neglected,
You’ll be played a fool,
As a gen’ral rule.

So don’t be a tool