Fat Bottom Hounds - A Poem

[With apologies to the members of Queen]

Aw, you gonna chew pig ears tonight
Aw, gonna crunch with all your might.
Aw, you gonna let your ears hang down.
Fat bottom hounds, you make my beaglin' world go round.

(Hey!)
I was just a whippet pup,
Never knew my down from up,
But I could howl before I left my rookery.
Left alone with big ol' Bottles,
She had such a naughty waddle,
Hey big basset, you made a hound dog out of me.
(Arf arf!)

(Awroo!)

I've been running in this pack,
Through the water, 'long the track,
I've seen every lapdog Princess in the hood.
But they're prissy and too mild,
And they all seem a little spiled.
Give me big dogs, lord, and I'll wag like I should.

(Come on!)

Aw, won't you howl with me tonight
Aw, underneath the pale moon light.
Aw, and you’re shakin’ all you got.
Fat bottom hounds, you make my beaglin' world go round.
Fat bottom hounds, you make my beaglin' world go round.

(Hey, howlin' here!)
Got no pig ears, got no scones,
Got no biscuits, no steak bones,
Ain't no show dogs here in this ol’ muttish pack.
(I tell ya)
Oh boy! Still got my favorite!
I still adore and savor it!
Hey big basset, you done made a great dane of me!
(Now fetch this!)

Aw, you gonna snore with me tonight (Awroooo!)
Aw, ‘til the bipeds jump with fright.
Aw, you gonna snuffle on the ground.
Fat bottom hounds, you make my beaglin' world go round. (Woof)
Fat bottom hounds, you make my beaglin' world go round.

Get on your leash and walk!

Fat bottom hounds!
(Waddle em cowgirl!)
Fat bottom hounds!
(Must be jam 'cause jelly don't shake like that)