'Roid Rage & Squirrels

Carolina-- As Lt. Colonel in the anti-squirrel movement, I would like to offer you the opportunity to attend my squirrel boot camp. My Papaw has a squirrel strong hold in his back woods. They have set up camp across the pond. In my camp, I will teach you to observe the squirrel habits and habitat. Stealth Squirrel Sneaking, How to set a squirrel trap, and many other necessary squirrel eliminating skills. First and foremost---SHOW NO FEAR. They feed off of it, that and corn.

You look like a sweet kid but you cannot let these squirrels push you around. Oh, and never take Mama's on recon with you. Mine laughs at me and ruins the mission.

Lt. Colonel Ernest T, SIR!--I would like to enlist. My mama has been calling me her big baby scaredy cat ever since the *ahem* rebellion began. Sir, with all due respect, you HAVE GOT to see this squirrel...it's gotta be some mutant strain of squirrel created by CATS! Of course!!! They've joined forces!

Carolina, I feel for you. Our squirrels stay just out of reach and laugh at us. It's so humilitating. May I come to boot camp, too? Mom already has me in training, so I'm all geared up to learn. Lt. Colonel Ernest T, I'm ready to enlist!

May I come to camp too?? I live in a new area so, I do not have squirrels but, I had a huge hawk challenge me. Will this camp help for that?? That hawk just stood it's ground and puffed it's wings up. It was after a sparrow in the tree. Mommy had to come out and it challenged her as well. She finally got a broom and chased it away.

I have had problems with squirrels too. I don't like them. They go in my yard. Can I join the camp too? I need to be braver.

Field Marshall Perl here. Beauregard and I are planning an all-out assault on the local fuzzy-tailed rat this weekend. Training of our new recruit, Dewey, will have to be put on hold for the nonce.

Oh boy, I sure wished I lived closer to go to the Ernest T school of vermin chasing. I hate 'em....they've gotten me stuck in our fence a coupla times...you talk about embarrassing. Mama had to get out a real tool...and get me outta the fence. Gosh, I hate to miss out on this learnin' experience.

All are welcome at the camp. When Mama and I returned from our weekly treat and chewie restocking trip, 3 of those tree rats had infiltrated the front yard. Once they saw the Basset Mobile pull in, they ran for cover. --Carolina-I would say your large squirrels are related to the squirrel at my former residence. The evil one known only as Fat Squirrel. He was smart and fast. I attempted to eliminate him with the Basset Mobile one day but Mama swerved. She is of no help. If she wasn't the only source of food and chewies, I'd dishonorably discharge her. Hang tight, stay strong. Help will be on the way.

Hi Ernest T, Carolina's mama here. I need to tell you that things have gone from bad to worse. Yesterday I observed Carolina laying down and just letting the squirrels run amuck. She didn't even TRY to chase them. Morale is real low...send reinforcements...I'll try to rally the troops, erm, Carolina.

I'd be happy to enlist as *ahem* Waste Management Engineer of both dogs and squirrels. Gimme a call.